Introducing Spitfire & Slasher- The Little Devils!

Even Agents of the Dark like Drawoc need a sidekick...someone whom they can vent their anger and frustration on...someone who takes none of the credit when things go right and all of the blame when things go wrong.
Sidekicks need to be thick skinned. But even more importantly, they need to be stupid and useless. And Spitfire fits the bill admirably!
Spitfire is a rough, tough little guy...a ball of aggressive energy Drawoc can always count on; dressed from head to toe in a red suit, with little horns sticking out of his head, Spitfire fancies himself as a force to be reckoned with but in reality he is as much use as a chocolate fireguard.
Spitfire spends most of his time buzzing around in the air, spinning and twisting, like a corkscrew before dive bombing towards a target he always manages to miss.
Drawoc entered his quarters just in time to see his hapless sidekick heading towards a board with a real bulls eye centre. The eye opens and closes then squeezes itself tight shut as Spitfire approaches. Another second and Spitfire crash lands, making an ear splitting sound that richochets around the room. The bulls eye gingerly opens and glances sideways. Spitfire has missed, of course!
`Useless...what are you?', said Drawoc contemptibly.
Spitfire lay prostrate on the floor huffing and puffing like a steam train; a fine misty vapour issues from every orifice and drifts towards the ceiling where it forms into a cluster of clouds.
`I's is practisin', replied Spitfire, defensively. `Sides, I nearly did it'.
Drawoc bends low so his face is close to Spitfires' `Nearly isn't good enough', he says, menacingly.
`Practice makes perfect', said Spitfire, jumping to his feet and nearly head butting Drawoc. `Did you see Evil Eyes'?
`Of course. Where d'you think I've been...figure skating'
`What's the latest news?'
`The Light Eaters are making good progress. There is just the small matter of the Buzzin' Guns...then Earth will be ours'
Spitfires' eyes widen. `The Buzzin Guns. Crikes! I'd better get some practice in'
`I could do better with a blindfold on'.
`I's is getter gooder. You watch me words', says Spitfire; he begins to huff and puff, his face grows redder and steam begins to issue from his ears.
`You never hit anything. All you do is let off steam and set the place alight'
Spitfire lets off more steam, determined to prove Drawoc wrong;
`To each man his own; to everything there's a season; every cloud has a silver lining', recites Spitfire.
`SHUT UP!'
Spitfire carries on huffing and puffing and begins to recite his `war cry'.
`Anger's energy, anger's a tool, if you want to get moving, use anger as a fuel'; suddenly Spitfire makes a farting sound and a flame issues from his backside.
`And we have lift off', cries Spitfire, excitedly as he slowly rises from the ground.
`I'll give you lift off'. Drawoc pulls back his leg and aims his foot at Spitfire's backside; Drawoc's toe meets its target and sends Spitfire flying.
`Thanks Drawoc. Much obliged', said Spitfire, shooting up like a rocket.
`It's a real pleasure my little demon'
Spitfire begins to twist and turn before aiming at his target; the `bulls' eye' widens, watching Spitfire as he heads down in a tailspin. Spitfire rushes headlong at the board, sounding like a dive bomb.
The eye twitches nervously as Spitfire gets closer.
Spitfire hits the board with an almighty crash...and misses! The `bulls eye' slowly opens and looks down; Spitfire is held fast by his horns and struggles to free himself; he manages to release one horn but in the effort he starts spinning.
Drawoc looks on, resisting the urge to aim another kick at Spitfire.
At last Spitfire manages to free himself and lands on the floor puffing steam; he gets to his feet and examines the target board.
`See, I's is gettin' gooder', he pants, looking pleased with himself.
`You missed by miles' mutters Drawoc.
`Yeah, but not as many miles as usual', replies Spitfire, happily.
`Then I've nothing to worry about have I', retorts Drawoc, striding off towards his office.
Inside Drawoc's inner sanctum a huge screen dominates the room. As soon as Drawoc enters, the screen begins to flicker into life. Evil Eyes appears on the screen.
`There you are', said Evils Eyes, unncessarily.
`How observant of you'
`You would be wiser to conserve your energy for the forthcoming battle instead of wasting it on sarcasm,' advised Evil Eyes.
`On the contrary. That's how I physche myself up'
`I need to see you', said Evil Eyes
`You can'
`In person. What I have to show you is too sensitive to relay through the air waves'
`It had better be. I want to get on with the job'
`You won't do a very good one unless you know all there is to know'
`As soon as possible, if not sooner', said Evil Eyes.
`I'm on my way'...
`Come on. We're leaving', barked Drawoc, striding across the room.
`Where's we goin'?, said Spitfire, looking surprised.
`The `Moan Dome'. Evil Eyes needs to see me, so shift yourself'...

Drawoc and Spitfire arrive at the `Moan Dome'. Without any preamble Evil Eyes launched into his reason for summoning Drawoc.
`Look at the screen'
Drawoc turned to the extra-terrestrial TV hovering on the wall. `They're on their way'.
Drawoc lips curl into a grimace at the sight of Buzzin' Gun and his gang standing on the Wave of Light.
`See what they're bringing with them. Look at that Light', said Evil Eyes, his voice rising.
`I'm looking', replied Drawoc through gritted teeth.
`Wow', says Spitfire . `That's some Light they's got there'
`I'm not blind', snapped Drawoc.
`You will be if you keep staring at it', said Spitfire, cheerfully.
`Anymore from you...'
`That's enough', interrupted Evil Eyes. `Tell me, what do you think, Drawoc'
`If your Light Eaters are so efficient, they'll make short work of it. Besides, the Brotherhood must be worried to send them'
`They're not that worried. Look again', ordered Evil Eyes
Drawoc stepped closer to the screen.
`Well?'
`Well what!', snaps Drawoc, impatiently.
`A child is with them'
Drawoc's eyes fix on Baby.
`If they're that worried why is the child with them', queried Evil Eyes. `Unless...they are trying to convey the impression they are not too concerned'
`The Brotherhood must be' argued Drawoc. `Why else would they be sending the Buzzin' Guns and that Wave of Light!'
`I don't like it. There has to be a significance, sending that child'
Drawoc moves his head slowly. `You could be right but I don't see what difference it makes'.
`We shall see. In the meantime you had better join the Light Eaters...as soon as possible'
`I will', agreed Drawoc. `And then...the battle will begin'
`I will keep in touch on the `air waves', said Evil Eyes.
`Let's go', ordered Drawoc. `We have work to do'

Even sidekicks need a sidekick...enter Slasher.
Like Spitfire, he's dressed from head to toe in red and has two little horns but that's where the similarities ends. Slasher, although smaller than Spitfire, thinks he's tougher and meaner...not easy when you're so tiny.
He wears an assortment of knives strapped to his belt and spends most of his time defending himself against imaginary opponents.
Spitfire zooms into Slasher's quarters, twisting and turning through the air.
`Whhooaa' whined Spitfire. `Whhooaa'
Slasher is busy practising his `self-defensive tactic sturff'; crouched low, wielding a knife, he mutters to no one there `I's gonna cut you. I's gonna cut you'.
Spitfire heads towards the ground and careers into Slasher knocking him off his feet.
Slasher picks himself up, hopping from one foot to another.
`Ow, ow! That hurted', he complains
`Hi ya, Slasher. What ya doin'?
`I's practisin' me self deefenceseeve tactic sturff', said Slasher, looking pained. `You still doin' target practice?'
`Yeah. I's is gettin' gooder, too' replied Spitfire, proudly.
`Watch this', Slasher adopts his `deefenceseeve'posture, crouching low. `I's gonna cut you. I's gonna cut you'
`S'impressive', nods Spitfire. `Nuff to scare anyone, that is. Now watch me'. Spitfire huffs and puffs until steam appears from his ears; he farts a flame and his feet begin to leave the ground.
Spitfire rises up does an assortment of twists and turns then heads towards the ground where he crash lands into an untidy heap.
`Oh yeah,' said Slasher, looking bewildered. `You's is betta...definitely'
`Hey, Slasher', said Spitfire scrambling to his feet,`how would you like to help me an' Drawoc sort out them Buzzin' Guns and take over the world with Evil Eyes and the Light Eaters'.
Slasher's eyes widen.`Yeah. Did Drawoc send ya ta ask me?'
`Nah. but `e won't mind. The more the merrier; many `ands make lightish work; two `eads is betta than one an' all that stuff'
Slasher stares ahead in a dreamlike state. `Cor, wouldn't I. Fact, sounds wot I wus born to do. Yeah, count me in an' let's get at them Buggin' Bugs', said Slasher adopting a `tough guy' pose.
`We's betta get to Drawoc's place. He's leavin' on `is Space Hopper as we speak'

Spitfire and Slasher entered Drawoc's quarters.
`Where've you been. I'm ready to leave', he screams
`To get Slasher. He's comin' wiv us'
Drawoc does a double take. `WHAT'
`Yeah', replied Spitfire, unabashed.
`It's up to me I'm commanding the army of Light Eaters. I don't want to watch out for stray knives', yelled Drawoc.
`S'ok, Drawoc. I can take care of meself', says Slasher, coolly.
`Oh you can can you. What are those marks on your face...laughter lines'
`Thems is me battle scars. Thems is where I's bin practisin' me self deefenceseeve tactic sturff' replied Slasher, proudly.
`Dee what!'
`Aw, Drawoc. Slasher'll be OK', put in Spitfire.
`I couldn't care less if he isn't. I'm not nurse maiding anyone'
`Yeah, we know you're not Superman', sniffed Spitfire.
`And what is that supposed to mean?', said Drawoc, glaring at his sidekick.
`I know your limitations', went on Spitfire, digging himself into a bigger hole.
Drawoc rushes towards Spitfire with all the determination of a footballer aiming for a goal; he pulls his leg back and aims a hefty kick at Spitfire who dodges out of the way leaving Drawoc's foot swinging in the air.
`Missed - jus' like I do', said Spitfire, cheerfully.
Drawoc gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in frustration.
`C'mon you two', he barked.
Spitfire and Slasher follow closely behind Drawoc. Spitfire farts a flame and Slasher adopts his `deefenceseeve' pose, mumbling `I's is gonna cut you', as he manouevres himself out of the room backwards.
At last, they're on their way to do battle with the Buzzin' Guns!