Vespa & Vespoola Vroom Vroom!

`Right you two...get in', said Drawoc, flicking the remote control for his Space Hopper.
Spitfire and Slasher were about to board the Space Hopper when a distant whinning sound caught their attention. Drawoc, Spitfire and Slasher turned in the direction of the noise.
`Its Vespa Vroom Vroom', cried Spitfire, excitedly.
Drawoc cursed under his breath. `Go on, get in', he ordered, impatiently. But Spitfire and Slasher hung back, watching Vespa buzz towards them..her lank hair streaming behind her.
Vespa was an old bird of mature years with stick thin legs that buckled at the knees; she fancied herself as a tough `un - the guy/gal type who no one messed with. She skidded to a halt, dug her hands deep into her pockets, gave a loud sniff, then addressed Drawoc, her jaw jutting forward.
`Where's you lot be gooin?'.
`You've seen what's goin' on out there, well I'm on my way to finish the job off', replied Drawoc, impatiently.
`Yeah, Vespa. We's gonna take over the world an' sort out the Buzzin' Guns', cried Spitfire.
Vespa's eyes lit up. `Blunderin Gums! I wouldn't min gittin me sum of them. Bin a long time since I seed sum action', sniffed Vespa, flexing her knees. `But I still got wot it takes when it comes to a good battle'
`That's your opinion', retorted Drawoc. `I've got my work cut out commanding an army of Light Eaters for Evil Eyes. I'm not looking for new recruits'.
`That's right Vespa', chipped in Slasher. `This is specialist work. It's wot I's bin practisin' me self deefenceseeve tactic sturff fur', said Slasher, importantly, adopting his `tough guy' pose.
Drawoc did a double take, staring down at the little guy; unfazed by Drawoc's response, Vespa continued, `You's could always use an ol' han' like the likes o' me. I's seed more battles than you could ever dream about', said Vespa, puffing her chest out.
`You haven't seen one like this...it's going to be the Mother of Battles...'
Vespa thrust her face nearer Drawoc's.
`An' you's be lookin' at the daughter, Dragwort', interrupted Vespa, sticking her chin out defiantly. `Fightin's me name an' fightin's me game...metalfizzlicklally speakin'.
`I haven't got time for this. The Buzzin' Guns are on their way', snapped Drawoc, turning towards the Space Hopper; he was eager to get away but Vespa stood between him and the machine.
`I's understandin' the tenshunns you's feelin'. It goes wiv the territory of leadership. But you's won't be loosin' out by havin' me on board', insisted Vespa.
`Do what you like but remember, it's everyman for himself', said Drawoc, pushing past the old bird.
`Suits me. I's used ta takin' care of meself. Fact, I's agoo and git me sista Vespoola. She's a dab han' when it comes to battles, too'.
Drawoc jerked his head towards Vespa.
`Why don't you bring your Uncle Tom Cobbley an' all', he shouted in exasperation.
`If dead men could fight, I would', said Vespa. `But `e don't breath no more, so `e ain't gonna be a lotta use', she sighed.
`Do what you like', snapped Drawoc. `Now out of my way'. Drawoc boarded the Space Hopper and began to press the controls; the moth-like machine hovered a few inches above the ground, then roared into life and shot forward at an alarming speed.
Vespa watched the machine disappear, still contemplating her idea of recruiting her sister Vespoola.
`Huh, that Dragwort knowed nuthin'`bout fightin' battles', she mumbled, gathering the saliva in her mouth and aiming at a spittoon.
`Well...`e's gonna learn a thing or two from me an' Vespoola'. With a jerk of her head Vespa Vroom Vroom buzzed off towards her sister Vespoola's abode...
Vespoola lay in a hammock surrounded by a cloud of smoke from a foul smelling cheroot that hung out of the corner of her mouth.
`Souveniers' from her `war' years adorned the surfaces of her hickeldy pickledy home;
framed photos of herself in various combat poses hung askew on the walls; in the far corner of the room an old boiler had a `Smoking Kills' government health warning painted across its front; the boiler was coughing and belching out clouds of smoke that filled the room.
Vespoola was the mirror image of her sister, Vespa.
`Vespoola. Is you in', called Vespa, buzzing into the smoke filled room.
`I is', answered Vespoola.
Vespa followed the sound of her sisters voice, peering through the thick fog of smoke until she espied her sister stretched out in the hammock.
`Git ya combat clobber on gal. I's found us a misshuun', ordered Vespa, digging her hands deep into her pockets and puffing out her chest with pride.
Vespoola's air of complacency suddenly vanished. She inhaled a mouthful of smoke and began coughing as she sat bolt upright.
`Misshuun. Wot kinda misshuun', spluttered Vespoola.
`A fightin' misshuun...thas wot'
Vespoola swung her legs over the side of the hammock, cheroot still hanging from the corner of her mouth.
`Fightin' misshuun. Who fur?'.
`Dragwort...'
`Wot. Thatsunofadontknowwotwhenitwusathome', snorted Vespoola. `Wos `e up ta'
``E's be after them Blunderin' Gums...doin' big battle sturff', replied Vespa.
`Buggin' Bum's, cried Vespoola. `Why's I'd like ta git me sum a' them fur me trophy wall'.
Vespoola leapt off the hammock, pulled open a cupboard door and grabbed a handful of combat clothes.
`Wos tha battle about', said Vespoola, her voice sounding muffled as she pulled a vest over her head.
`Takin' over the world type-a sturff', replied Vespa.
`Wot fur?'
`Hell, who cares. A battle's a battle an' thas where we's comes in', sniffs Vespa. `Give Dragwort the benefits of our xspeereences'.
`You's right, sis. We ken show that Dragwort a thing or two dozen when it comes ta fightin'
`Yeah, he's bee needin it', agreed Vespoola. He's wetta than water when it comes ta battles'
`Ain't that the gospel. Tha' boy ain't got tha time to learn what we's bee aknowin' `bout battles, sniffed Vespa.
`Or the brains', said Vespoola. `Lets git gone. I'd hate ta git there an' find it's all over'
`No chance, sis. I's atold `im...he's bee needin' us for this `ere battle, an' he knows it', said Vespa, larging it.
Vespoola slapped a beret on her head and jammed a fresh cheroot into the corner of her mouth.
`I's be ready. Lead on, sis'
Vespa led the way through the thicket of smoke followed by Vespoola.
The two sisters couldn't wait to join the action.